For some reason I started off writing this blog with apprehension. I caught myself asking all of the following questions: “Is it okay to blog about sex? How are people going to react to the topic of sex? Is it too taboo? Is it too personal? Should this community be talking about sex?” After all the questions, I heard the voice of clarity in my head, “This blog is from a married perspective. Married people are supposed to be having sex and talking about about sex!”
It’s about time that married couples regain control of sex conversations. I’ve always loved R&B music. What’s better than a song about love? The problem is I’ve noticed that more and more R&B songs are not talking about love but rather talking about sex. And are the people singing the songs usually married??? No. The same is true in all types of popular culture. Much of the sex information that is given in this society comes from people outside of a married relationship.
My first thought on this is what do all these non-married people really know about sex? I would argue that a strong marriage knows a whole lot about sex. My second thought is how does it affect the youth in our culture if they hear a whole lot of sex talk from the unwed and silence from married people? Let your voice be heard here first and then let’s retake the sex conversation. Thoughts…
Kiss there. Lick that. More. Whisper how you like it. Now you on top. Again later tonight? After reading these phrases do you find yourself cringing or smiling?? If you find yourself a little uncomfortable with these phrases please ask yourself one question: Why? If you land a fantastic job you are entitled to amazing perks and benefits. The same is true when you get married and one of those benefits is…SEX!
As a single woman sex was in my face in movies, music, and magazines. I’m fully aware that our society is sexually driven. But what’s missing from the passenger seat is the perspective of married couples. We get Sex and the City instead of Sex in the Marriage. I constantly see magazines at the supermarket checkout line with titles such as, “Making the Most of a One Night Stand.” Why the article can’t be “Steaming up a Saturday Night…With Your Husband” is baffling. I think it is time for a change.
How do we become a louder voice on sex in our society? And on the same note, why are we the ones feeling uncomfortable discussing one of the sweet benefits of marriage? Feedback…
Gotta start the conversation in our own homes with our own
children. Teach them that sex is God’s idea created for
the marriage relationship. Gotta have the conversation in
our churches. At our church we teach the married couples
not to neglect sex in the marriage. Make time for it. Create
time for it. Have fun with it. It should edify and both should
enjoy it. We teach the single folks to wait until marriage. We
teach them the damage that is done when we engage outside
of marriage. All the emotional, spiritual and physical
consequences of it. Pregnancy, STD, guilt, shame to name a
few. We cannot allow the world (music, TV, movies etc) to
teach us about God’s idea. Sex is for procreation, pleasure,
and protection only in the marriage covenant. Period!
Couldn’t agree more… Many Christian women have a difficult time with enjoying sex in marriage. Their whole lives they’ve been told not to have sex and then on their honeymoon they’re finally encouraged to go for it! It can be a hard switch to turn on but a critical one in order to have a happy, healthy, married sex life. Keep the conversation going!
Communication in a marriage is extremely important. Sex is another form of communication. When you stop communication sexually in a marriage, you will find that all other forms of communication is lost as well. Keep the SEX ( I mean communication) going.
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